FEEDBACK AND COMMENTS FOR IMPROVEMENT

Once i got this feedback from my teacher and relised my target was at an A/B standard i completed the improvement points and completed everything else to a high standard ensuring it was all done before the deadline of the 1st April.

COMMENTS
- 'very good but you need to make the storyline more obvious'
- 'i liked it but i think you should add a shot of Leanne following Toni to make sure the storyline is clear'
- 'maybe the happy shots of Toni should be in colour'
- 'good, intense soundtrack'
- 'your titles need to appear slower so they are readable'
- 'wicked'
- 'the soundtrack should drop in time with Leanne when shes having her breakdown'
- 'some shots are very blurry and shakey'

After recieving these comments of feedback we decided to take on board some suggestions for improvement and played around to see which points could help our sequence look proffesional as well as keeping the audience engaged. improvement and played around to see which points could help our sequence look proffesional as well as keeping the audience engaged.

We decided to change the colour of the last shot in the toilets to a red tint to make it look more effective as the colour red was a key connotation throughout our sequence as it represents love, danger and passion; the main themes of our movie.

We also decided to add a shot of Leanne following Toni home to try make the storyline obvious as some people suggested, we think this shot achieves this as Toni is clueless to Leanne following her and the music at this point evokes Leanne's sly movements to eventually becoming obsessed with Toni and wanting to be with her always.

We added a voiceover which is a sentence to tighten the whole theme or plot of our movie helping the audience establish what could be going on and engaging the audience from the start as they would want to keep watching to find out what happens and how she deals with her feelings and if it would be a happy ever after ending.

For the titles we learnt how to slow the writing down still with the evaporate and word flash effect reflecting our genre. We also added polaroids of Leanne and Toni every time a title came up so the audience could identify the protagonist and possibly a bit about the storyline.

We pulled back the soundtrack on after affects so it flows with the footage better and actually makes an empact on the action going on.

We kept the blurry effect at the end of each zoom shot as it adds a confused effect which reflects on Leanne's behaviour as she is confused about what she wants to do with Toni or why shes having these feelings for her. The shakey camera shots also demonstrate this complicated, troubled feeling towards Leanne.